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SHAN
50 Washington, District of Columbia, United States
Seeking: Female 30 - 40
Have children: Yes - live at home
I don’t understand why the majority of women today desire exclusive yet imbalanced relationships. They want to own your time, your resources, and your emotional space — in return for what? Once children enter the picture, they begin to dictate your role and use emotional blackmail through the kids. What does a man truly gain from marriage, other than increasing responsibilities and lectures from every direction? Women between the ages of 20 to 40 often act as though the world revolves around them. They assume men are just fools chasing one thing. When the children reach their teenage years, “motherly love” shifts focus entirely to the kids — understandably. But at that point, the man is reduced to little more than the house dog. This attitude leads to resentment, distance, and ultimately divorce. Then, in their 30s to 50s, these same women start searching for a new man — someone else to own and control. But the pool of eligible men in that age range has drastically shrunk. Many single or divorced men aren’t available or interested, because they have better options: marrying someone younger, child-free, or from abroad. Plenty of women from back home are willing and even eager for that opportunity. Additionally, global gender ratios work against older single women. If it weren’t for China’s one-child policy, India’s customs, and the male-preference in Muslim countries, the world would likely have 5% more women than men. Even now, many nations have a higher female population. Marriage laws in most countries allow only one legal spouse, which often pushes people into secret or non-committed relationships. Research suggests that 20–25% of men and 10–15% of women cheat. Open relationships are increasingly accepted in the so-called “developed” world. However, a Muslim man is not allowed to pursue that path due to religious limitations. As a result, many Muslim men living in the West find themselves trapped — caught between domineering women who reject Islamic principles and also refuse to embrace Western alternatives. Once divorced, these women prefer to live as single parents for life, yet refuse to accept the role of a second wife.
Marshall
43 Bloomington, Minnesota, United States
Seeking: Female 31 - 43
Have children: Yes - live at home
Salamu Alaikum, The Prophet (s) said, "Verily, I have only been sent to perfect good character" and that is what I have been focused on doing since I reverted to Islam when I was 21. Islam is my deen, my way of life, and I strive to teach my family the importance of correct belief, acts of worship, and the good manners that should be developed alongside them, so that they can be successful in this life and the hereafter, insha Allah. Regarding my family, I have two beautiful (on the inside and out) teenage twin girls. Their mother is an equally beautiful person and although we couldn't make our marriage work in the end, we continue to work closely together to raise our daughters, alhamdulillah. This and the fact that I am an only child who needs to help his aging parents are the reasons I cannot relocate at this time. I am by nature a very positive and forgiving person who tries to make the most out of life, whatever the circumstances. If you fall down I'll be there to help you back up. If someone wrongs me but and are remorseful and do their best to change, I will do my best to be forbearing and forgiving to them. Others often describe me as a dutiful, honest, and positive person. I take my responsibilities seriously and believe that a man's word should be iron: whatever he says he will do he had better do everything in his power to make it happen. I'm more introverted than extroverted, and am a better writer than speaker, but overall I consider myself pretty socially balanced. I enjoy time to myself as well as with friends and family. But back-to-back social activities definitely drain my energy, so I'll need some time to myself to recharge my battery. I'm highly analytical and enjoy planning ahead or "tying my camel" whenever appropriate. I'm naturally inquisitive and enjoy asking questions and learning and try to maintain a healthy curiosity. I usually make decisions by thinking through them, but that's not always the case, emotions can play a role too. Financially speaking, I earn an IT Professional's salary, own my own home, live modestly, and consistently save / invest. In my spare time I enjoy long walks by myself or with my family, and with a little encouragement, other outdoor activities and sports. Physical health and fitness are important to me! I enjoy time indoors - PC games, tabletop games (e.g. D&D), watching movies [I love fantasy themes like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Dune, and Game of Thrones], learning about history, and dining with family and friends. I have a good sense of humor and enjoy expressing love, affection, and support to my family members. Oh, and I love cats and coffee. I've travelled to about 15 countries. And I've performed the Hajj [but would love to go again, insha Allah].
Mousa
41 McLean, Virginia, United States
Seeking: Female
Have children: Yes - live at home
The most beautiful thing about growing old is that the older you get a year makes you smaller many things that used to consume your energy and feelings one day. Maturity is a feature that rearranges things and people in our lives!!\NN don't make your understanding of livelihood: It stops at the limits of money and children! The most beautiful of the souls: The soul. The light of the mind and the health of the body. The heart and the safety of thought. The most beautiful of all, the call of a mother and the satisfaction of a father The presence of brothers... Laughing son. Attention of a friend... And a loving invitation to you I am Moses, a man whose character has matured through years of life and work, believing that life is full of challenges that contribute to the formation of our spirit and guide us toward the ultimate goal. My origins are well established and my family is of high social standing, growing up in an environment rich in values and principles that profoundly shaped my personality. I completed my undergraduate engineering degree and am now a Chief Engineer in Oman, practicing my profession with precision and innovation, and using my skills in technical and managerial communication with global teams. But, beyond professional life, I believe that the greatest project in life is parenting and caring, and indeed, for eight years, I have played the role of father and mother in raising two children: A girl and a boy. Through their upbringing, I have devoted my time and effort to bringing them up in an environment filled with love and a clear vision for the future. I have always believed that personal maturity comes not only from practical experiences, but from raising generations that carry values and principles and achieve lofty goals. As for pluralism, it is not a passing choice in my life, but part of my vision of building a strong nation based on justice and balance. I believe that pluralism is not just a social or religious imperative, but a tool by which to balance the family and distribute roles in a way that enhances the quality of life together. For me, pluralism is not a burden, but an opportunity to build a family capable of achieving glory, not only at the family level but at the national level. I am looking for a life partner who is an extension of this vision, a woman of intellectual superiority, with a heart beating with faith and love, able to be my companion in the journey of building family and community. Pluralism is not a burden, it is a quest for justice and balance, a choice based on mutual respect and participation in bringing glory to the nation and to our future generations. I was late for the idea of marriage because I wanted to raise my children in a balanced way, they were my first priority, and I wanted to be their father and mother at every stage of their lives. However, I am now in a phase where I am looking for a life partner who will be my partner in this path, a partner in building a family that aims to achieve glory and happiness in this world and the hereafter. I am looking for a woman with a deep mind, a spiritual wisdom, a heart full of faith, who can make a positive impact in our family and in society. A woman who is a custodian of the Book of God, who understands the mission of life, and is able to be a true partner in life’s journey to heaven. Raising generations, building a family based on the values of faith, is the path I am pursuing with my partner in this life, where together we are companions of the Commission, achieving lofty goals and facing challenges in one spirit.
Richard
48 Concord, New Hampshire, United States
Seeking: Female 18 - 44
Have children: Yes - live at home
Salam Aleykum, very nice to meet you. My name is Richard I am married and available with full knowledge and agreement of wife. I consider marriage to be a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya and will continue Insha Allah in paradise together. I am a US citizen. I live in the USA. I am a gentle man. If I send a message it is to talk to a sister in a normal way, no things that are haram and inappropriate. I know that some of that is going on here, that some people are not appropriate. I am honest and I behave as a man should. Anything of even the slightest sexual nature is for marriage, not before. I am a serious man and will not waste your time. My time is very valuable to me and I know that you also feel this way about your time. I will respect it. I am progressively working toward achieving my dreams, which are many and larger than life Insh Allah إن شاء الله I would like to find a partner who also wants to achieve great things and help me with my dreams. I want to help her too. I have beautiful children and I love being their father. This is the most fulfilling part of my life, and the most challenging. -------------------- POLYGAMY I believe polygamy is ordained by Allah and I believe that done properly can be a great blessing for all involved. That it is often done poorly does not mean polygamy is bad, it means that humans often do things poorly. I believe in polygamy on a philosophical level and a scientific one. Please do not expect to talk me out of it or be so much woman or such a great wife I will forget about it. That will not happen. I have multiple, important reasons for wishing to structure my family in a polygamous way. I understand if you disagree. I have a small family and want to have a large one, which is the primary reason why I am open to the idea of eventually (not right away) having additional partners, so that there can be many children, inchallah. It is also because I want a community of people together because they chose to be. And because many hands make light work. And finally because it is the nature of man to want to love and possess women. My nature, man's nature, is not bad, no matter what the West nor feminism may claim. I will be a man as Allah made me and build the family I feel is right to build. I am extremely honest and would not begin such a process without informing my wife, and allowing her all she needs to feel comfortable in the situation. I would only choose someone she approves of and whom we both agree will make our family even better. A second wife is not a solution to a problem in the current marriage and I would never have undertaken anything until the first marriage was completely secure, happy - which it is. I would like to have as large a family as possible. I have now raised children for 8 years and it is a HUGE amount of work. I hope that everyone in our family will accept all the children as their own (including mine that I have now) and help in raising them so that we can be great parents and have a life outside of raising them. I envision a community of people living in close proximity in their own homes on a large piece of land and helping one another achieve our dreams, inchallah. Every wife must be treated with great love and equality. I have great love and care within me to share, a great abundance of it. I also have a great store of forgiveness within me. I love myself and thus I am able to love others and accept them as they - a beautiful creation of Allah. As Allah has infinite patience and love for me though I do not deserve it, I strive, and continuously fail, to have the same for all of his children. I will keep trying to be a better man and I will never give up and I will never break my promises. I actually like women. I do not secretly think that women are jsut broken versions of men that need fixing via lectures. Perhaps the secret to making a polygamous marriage successful is the same secret to making *anything* in life successful: following an ihsaan-centric model, where one puts aside their own selfishness, emotional/ cultural baggage, and double standards in order to pursue a relationship that is pleasing to Allah over all else. I alone am responsible for my decisions, Polygamy is the decision of the husband and he alone must bear all of the consequences. It is not up to the wife to force herself to act like everything is OK if it is not. It is up to the husband to lead and make everything good for her. -------------------- MY HISTORY I have been a Russian Linguist in the US Army (long ago). I eventually left the military because I did not agree with my mission. Ultimately as a soldier you serve the person who has managed to colonize executive office. These wars are misguided and insane and I was thankfully able to leave before being involved in them due to Allah's (swt) divine will. I completed university in Boston at a good school. I studied business and it was quite interesting. I studied business because I was able to complete a four year degree in just two and a half years. I could study anything, really. I actually study just as much today as I ever did in college in the pursuit of my dreams. I have a fulfilling and rewarding career that gives me a lot of free time to go for my dreams. I am lucky. I also have my own business that does quite well. I have good financial, and very abundant material, resources. I have traveled often in Europe, especially Germany. Also been in the Balkans quite a bit and visited many other countries in Europe. I have seen a bit of Central America. In the planning stages to see Africa, South America and Asia. -------------------- EXPECTATIONS Please want children. I do not mind if you cannot have children, thanks to polygamy this is not an obstacle to our love and marriage. As long as you can love the children I have now and the ones to come we are compatible. You fully and gladly embrace polygamy as a religiously-ordained practice. You do not merely tolerate or accept it with reservations - I am not interested in trading the love and goodwill we create in exchange for your acceptance of a practice you do not want. This will only cause pain and suffering later. I do not want someone to tolerate it and hope for the best. Ideally you come from a culture that practices polygamy on a regular basis and consider it normal. Or you dream of a big, happy, crazy polygamous family for your own reasons or the reasons I do. Tell the truth. The entire truth, all the time. Do not be afraid to speak up and say your opinion. We are partners in this life, I am not your overlord, nor you my slave. It is a fine line between dominance and submission formed out of different personalities in love and falling into pre-made societal roles where we lose our identity. We will work hard each day to navigate the complexity of love. When you arrive in the USA you will not be able to work right away, but once you can, you of course can if you want. It is your chice to stay in the home or have a career. I nthe USA staying home is quite rare now. Most women do want to have a job and I fully support this. When a baby comes of course you should stay home for some time. I like hijabs, they are beautiful. It is your choice to wear one or not. Niqabs are impractical in modern American life and will be very difficult to wear on a daily basis here. But if it is what you wish I support that.

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