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AFZAL
49 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Seeking: Female 25 - 50
Religious values: Very Religious
Zuhayr
40 Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Seeking: Female 18 - 35
Religious values: Very Religious
Assalamu alaykom. I am a practicing Muslim man looking for a practicing Muslim woman to start a family. I was born and raised in Tunisia, but I lived all my adult life in the West: France, the U.S. and Canada. Because of this, I am bicultural (Islamic and western cultures) and multilingual (Arabic, French and English). But Islam is at the centre of my life. It defines my behaviour, and I see everything and everyone through Islamically tainted glasses. I am active in the Muslim community in Winnipeg, especially at University of Manitoba's campus where I organize and lead Jumua prayers for the local MSA (Muslim Student Association). I have an associate degree in computer science. Previous work experience includes translation (English to Arabic) and bilingual call-centres (French and English). I also started and successfully ran my own business in electronic consumables for five years. I came to Canada to further my Computer Science studies, but I eventually switched majors to study literature, which is what I really love. I am passionate about language, poetry and literature. Reading a good book is the thing that gives me the most pleasure in the world. Writing about what I read helps me organize my thoughts and shape them into a worldview (heavily influenced by my faith, of course). After I graduate soon insha’Allah, I intend to find work that involves writing, or hopefully leverage my background in IT in a field that involves language and writing (data science, natural language processing, technical writing). Regarding my character, I am first and foremost a kind-hearted person. Early and extended periods of hardships in my life made me into an introverted individual who doesn’t trust people easily, but I do enjoy the company of people who share my intellectual interests. To tell you more about my character, let me use a Big Five personality test that I recently took: - Agreeableness: I am a naturally compassionate, friendly person with a lot of empathy in me. I am protective of the people I love and find pleasure in nurturing them and adding to their comfort. I cannot stand the sight of injustice or of innocent people suffering. I subscribe to the philosophy of self-denial and self-sacrifice promoted in Islam and even by non-Muslim thinkers like Tolstoy (“The only true happiness in life is found by living for others” in Master and Man), and try to apply it to myself by fighting daily against my ego and my own inclinations (Nafs/hawa). Those who don’t know me might find me aloof and solitary, but I’ve been disappointed and hurt by people many times, so I tend to be cautious and untrusting of strangers. I expect little from people in general. But Alhamdulilleh, these traits change drastically when I’m among Muslim brothers and sisters. - Extraversion/Introversion: I am definitely an introvert. What this means is that I don’t mind being alone. I like to read a lot, and use what I read to reevaluate my view of myself, people, and the world around me. Some friends accuse me of overthinking everything… In times like these, I don’t believe that’s a bad thing. Guilty as charged! Being an introvert doesn’t mean that I avoid the company of others. I love being with devout Muslims whose company always leads to an uptick in my own faith and ‘ibada. I also enjoy intellectual discussions that enrich my understanding of the world. I have a wide array of interests: politics, psychology, history, philosophy, literature, etc. I love being around people who know more than me, or who have a different perspective in one or many of these fields. God bless our local MSA where this kind of conversations abound, masha’Allah. In social gatherings, I tend to be socially awkward and uncomfortable. Introverts like me prefer one on one interactions. Crowds of strangers can be overwhelming, although not crowds of Muslims or friends (I lead Jumua regularly in front of 200+people). - Intellect: I am interested in abstract ideas. I enjoy being confronted with novel information, even if it’s complex. I like to be organized and thorough in my thoughts. Writing helps a lot in that regard (“Writing is refined thinking” Stephen King). I like to be articulate and precise in the language I use, although this is not an easy thing to do when speaking a foreign language, even fluently. I also have an appreciation for art. Poetry soothes my soul. I compile my favourite poems in a 15-year-old notebook and I memorize the poems that truly help me be better or feel better. I love being in proximity with nature and natural things. I love being outdoors and spending time biking, walking in a park, hiking. I love animals in general and cats in particular, although I haven’t owned a pet since I was a kid. I hope I can meet someone who share some of my artistic or intellectual interests. Although this isn’t the first thing I look for (that would be religion: imen and ibada), it will make for a richer marital life insha’Allah. - Assertiveness: I am an opinionated individual who doesn’t back down from a debate. I do not hesitate to change my mind when I’m proven wrong, and I’ve been proven wrong a lot. But in the meantime, I will defend my opinion in good faith. Sometimes I get too passionate and emotional, which is not good. I remain courteous and polite even in those situations, but I consider such emotional involvement to be a flaw in my character. It’s something I work on, and insha’Allah it’s something I’ll get rid of like I got rid of other flaws in the past. - Flaws in my character: Although I am disciplined and consistent about religious practice (prayers on time, quran daily, tahajjud etc.) and about personal hygiene and the like, when it comes to academics, I sometimes struggle to keep focus or to remain motivated if I’m not inspired by what I’m doing. When that happens, I tend to procrastinate a lot and it cost me in the past. Because I’m interested in such a wide variety of topics, I sometimes jump from one field to the next instead of focusing deeply on one particular topic to gain a real appreciation and expertise. I switched majors after dedicating 3 years to computer science and even switched universities (although it was mostly because of a scholarship offer that was hard to refuse). My lack of focus has caused me issues in the past. I try to fight it by being very organized and by following a schedule. I’m improving but it’s a work in progress. Another issue that I have is that I am self-critical to a fault. I know western culture promotes self-caring, but it’s a concept I could never apply to myself. I judge myself harshly for my flaws and my failures. Very often, it takes a concentrated effort of dhikr and dua and ibada to bring myself back from self-doubt to “forgive myself” and move on. Alhamdilelleh for the great blessing of Islam. Without my faith, I would be truly lost. I hesitated to add the last paragraph, but if you read this far, you deserve to know :) Nobody’s perfect; definitely not me. Purification of the soul (tazkiyat an-nafs) is a life-long journey. I try every day to limit or eradicate these flaws in my characters that I’m painfully aware of, using books of Aqeeda and spirituality (Ibn Al Qaiym - Madarij As-salekeen comes to mind.) Wallahu al musta’an.

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